A week or so before I moved back down to my college town (I'm graduated, but many of my friends are not so I thought it would be a good alternative to living at home) I got a text from my roommate saying that there would be a fourth person living with us. This was the very person I did not want to live with for various personal reasons. Names have been omitted, but this is the text that I received:
"So ***** is going to be sharing a room with ***. I moved into your old room, so ***** room is yours."
I think I'm coming closer to why this still bothers me. The anger and shock have faded. I've come to terms with the fact that the other person is here and there isn't anything I can do about it. The issue I think, the feeling that lingers in my chest whenever I think about it, is hurt.
I was hurt by this. This callous way of informing me that I had been shuffled. That the room that I had previously occupied, that I believed to be mine, had been taken without so much as a heads up.
I am still hurt because this person, someone who I consider a close friend, treated me like a stranger moving in. That hurts. It hurts to feel like I'm an afterthought. Like getting a 'better room' was more important. I can't imagine ever doing something like this to someone and so that it came from someone who is very important to me cuts deep.
It makes me feel like I'm worthless, not even worth the time to shoot a text too until long after the situation. To be shuffled around like unwanted luggage. To have someone blow me off with a litany of "I'm sorry's" while doing nothing to fix the situation or understand why I'm so upset.
I feel hurt and betrayed. And I'm having a hard time moving beyond those feelings.
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